"I'm on the phone with a white lady; shut the fuck up!"
(a customer talking to someone else on his end, apparently thinking I can't hear him)
"Thank you for being helpful and a cute-sounding person."
(said by a customer after I solved his problem)
"She's like a child ferret; she hides things."
(a customer referring to his kid, who apparently has hidden the remote so that no one else can find it)
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