More funnies from work

Me: Do you normally leave your receiver on at night, or turn it off?
Customer: Yes.
Me: ?? . . . Ok.
***thinking "that wasn't really a yes or no question..." ***

Customer (apologizing for being distracted): "I was just reading my daughter's text messages"
*** there was no response on my part, I really was not sure what to say ***

Customer: I don't have an account. I had (insert cable company name here), but then I moved. I have an old receiver from when I used to have yall. Will the receiver work without a dish.
Me: Um, no. You do have to have a dish. The receiver can't get a signal without a dish. ***thinking "thats why its called a RECEIVER, because it RECEIVES the signal... from the DISH!! ***

Another one that I get on a regular basis is people mis-pronouncing "signal" as "single". Now, if English was not their primary language, I would understand, but most of the people who do this, its pretty obvious that American English is their primary language... but here is a similar, but here is a new one I heard:
Customer reading message that said "Acquiring satellite signal", except she pronounced "Acquiring" as "Aack air in"