More funnies from work

Customer: let me waddle up here (in reference to going to the other tv)

Customer: It's covered in coffee stains and fingerprints!! (in reference to receiving refurbished instead of completely brand new equipment. I want to know how he knew they were coffee stains. Did it smell like coffee?)

Customer: I'm sitting sideways; I need to get straight where I can see it. (referring to screen or receiver, I think - never figured out what he meant).

An exchange told to me by a fellow agent:
agent:How can I help you?
Customer: I need help logging into my account.
(some back and forth then establishes that he needs help with his bank account, not his tv accout)
Agent: You would need to contact (banknamehere) sir.
Customer: But I called you.
(Obviously, but that does not mean it was the correct choice!)
Agent: Sir, we have nothing to do with your bank account.
Customer: I pay you with the bank account.
Agent: That may be, but we cannot see that, nor can we help you set up online banking.
(This goes on for about 20 minutes or so until the agent convinces the guy that we cannot help him).

Another one. Same agent with (almost) the most stubborn guy in the world.
(Initial troubleshooting questions determine that the receiver is in single mode when it should be in dual mode.)
Agent: What I need you to do it press the mode button on the front of the receiver.
Customer: I don't want to.
Agent: ... Its very simple, all you have to do is press the button.
Customer: I want you to do it.
Agent: .... You want me to come to your house in (state-on-other-side-of-the-country) and press it for you?
Customer: I know you can do it on your end!
Agent: No sir, its a setting on your receiver. You have to press the button.
Customer: Well, we can sit here all night until you fix it!
Agent: ... Ok.
(They sit for about 10 minutes in complete silence)
Customer: Well, I guess you're more stubborn than I am.
(The customer hangs up. )